A decision made often by absence of a choice or lack of an alternative by definition, we all have a default. What's yours?
My default is simple, becoming very internal, isolated, in solitude often. It is not always a bad place to be, for in that alone time, I find myself able to think clearly about what I want in life, not what others want for me or even for themselves. However, staying in default often leads me to selfish behaviors and inconsiderate actions. Default for me has meant more. It has often meant running away from my stresses, as if they simply do not exist, as if when I decide to come back to reality, they wont be there. It has often meant growing distant from God rather than closer to him. I am in a stage of life, where that default can no longer work. I believe that our defaults are a starting block, a way to begin, redo. But in order to have a fresh start, default has to be a place of integration, of growth. I now seek for my default to be God. Where when I no longer can see clearly or think clearly to make sound decisions, I turn to God. I look for God to guide me and be my compass; for the Bible in the 37th Psalm tells us that "the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord" and Proverbs 3:6 says that "in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" and again in Proverbs 16:9 the Word says "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." It is now, that I submit my will to the Lord's and allow for Him to not only be my default, but my all. Have you named your default?
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eekkkk, ekkkk….Plop!!!! Down the bird goes as it throws its body into the water for a few seconds and I sit waiting intensely. 1 second. 2 seconds.. 3 seconds… Awwww, Awwwwk!!!! UP! the bird comes flying out of the water and then lands on the rail a few feet from me. As I sit at the waterfront on a bench on a cloudy day in front of a misty and foggy river… or lake (not sure what body of water this is lol), I read about young President Obama as a junior in college discerning his future. I sit here wondering if I am too in that same stage of life at this very moment? Never having learned how to swim and having had near death experiences with water more than once, I am always amazed at how much I love to be by the water. How calming the ripples are to my soul, how clearing the wind is to my senses of feeling, both internal and external. How my mind, spirit, and soul all become one unit, connected with God’s creations around me. I am not concerned with the ants in the grass or the birds in the tree directly above my head. I am not concerned with the jogger or the father and his son eating lunch beside me. I am only at such peace when I am completely tuned in to God’s voice and creation. It is here that I sit and listen. Sit and look. Sit and let God speak. Listen. Listen.. Simply listen… Just listen… for the voice of God. Have you sat and let God speak to you lately??? In a follow-up 1:1 with my coworker, he asked how had I changed since I began organizing,, and I admitted it was a question I needed to reflect upon. After being at National training around congregation renewal and a series of 1:1's focused on the work I had done in the past 9 months, I finally had an answer for Michael.
Vulnerable. There are many things I've learned and realized about myself and the world since I started organizing,, yet the question of how I had changed struck me harder than any other. But I realized that I had learn to open myself up to people in a way I had never done before. Now many may think that who I am now is far from vulnerable, but I know that I have become more open. The thought of being open to others than my family and friends was an idea as far fetched and absurd to me as was sky diving! Yet somewhere between 1:1's and a culture of accountability built into the organization, I began to trust and believe that being vulnerable enough to enter into people's stories and them into your's was a valid tool for building relationships. But not only building relationships with others, but also challenging my own ideas of sensitivity, weakness, and openness. And while I appreciate the culture that is built into faith-based organizing and our "intentional-ity" in reclaiming and defining our language as it should be, with concepts like self-interest and power, why not do the same with love? While I completely understand and love the idea of people understanding power and tapping into it, as a community of faith, why do we not talk about love more? Why don't we reclaim the power of love and define it the way God intended it to. Love encompasses everything that we preach anyhow does it not? Does not true love require accountability? Does not true love tell us to do for others but also for self because true love must begin within? I believe that love and affection can be part of the culture we build as much as self-interest is. Finally, the last thing I reflect upon from these past 9 months is the concept of clarity. I think the singular most thing I appreciate about this work is that if nothing else is done right, the agitation around becoming clear about the issues we work on, becoming clear about the mission and vision of our organizations and congregations, and becoming clear about what we desire out of life is one of the best tools anyone can have. Whether a pastor, lay leader, organizer, lawyer, doctor, teacher, investment banker, stay at home dad, the worker at McDonald's drive thru to the beggar on the street, we all have to know what it is we desire for our lives and how it is we plan to make that happen and communicating it clearly. I have learned the value and true meaning of vulnerability, wondered where the gospel of love is in this work, and yet among my discovery and wandering,, I have come to appreciate the importance of clarity. There are many other things that have struck | AuthorThe best and only lesson in life is to be true to self. Everything else will follow when you are honest with yourself. I hope this blog is more than an artistic expression but a tool to brighten the day for the oppressed, move the activist to action, and a sign of Christ's love for all. ArchivesNovember 2013 Categories |
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